Swept Under the Rug
by Pyewacket
Summary: NOOOO NOT THE EVIL SUMMARY!! ok, here goes: kim possible fic, ron/kimish...basically works around drakken&sheego get into a hissy and break up, which just makes LOADS of trouble for kim...oh yeah, and there's the thing about her getting unwillingly jealou


Hi-dy ho people-rinos! I'm kind of new to this fanfiction stuff so this (gulp!) is my first thing. Here's the low-down of all you need to know: 1. It's a KP fic 2. It's a Ron/Kim fic (i canNOT get over that couple!!) 3. I am insane. Thus- 4. The plot will be insane. *WARNING!WARNING!WARNING!* this is mostly going to be a romantic comedy. this is mostly going to be PG (actually, it's entirely going to be PG...i've just gotten ahead of myself). thus, THIS IS NOT LIKE THE OTHER KP FICS UP AS OF YET!! phew! so here we go! enjoy the- *best friend who's looking on as i write*: Wait! You need the disclaimer! *me* They know I don't own anything... *very annoying best friend who's insisting on bugging me today* So what? They could sue. *annoyed me* Don't be stupid. *her* You don't be stupid! And stop writing down what I say. It's freaking me out... *me* Oh what, you mean this? (shows her text) *her (in a rage)* ARGGGG!!!!! (best friends stomps from room in huff) FINE THEN BE THAT WAY!!! i'll be right back...oh, enjoy the fic.  
  
chapter one. They'll be back. "True friends stab you in the front." -Orson Wells The metallic coldness of the lair made Kim Possible shiver nervously. Crouching in an uncomfortable squat behind one or two fairly large plywood crates in the corner of the room did nothing to ease her stomach either. Why was she so nervous? How many times had she saved the world? Hundreds. How many times had she gone up against Dr. D and Sheego? Dozens. So why was she freaking out? Snicker, snicker. "Ron!" Kim hissed through clenched teeth, twisting around to face her best friend/goofy sidekick, who was trying his best not to break out laughing at whatever it was he laughed at (everything). "Do you mind?!" "Not really," he replied, grinning, then saw her face. "Okay, okay, sorry, shutting up..." "Why must you snicker at everything in the first place?" Kim whispered back feverishly. Normally she wouldn't get on his back about it but...well, it'd been a long day and she had to find someone to take it out on or else she would absolutely explode. "You're totally going to get us caught!" "Geesh, KP, I said I was sorry." What big brown eyes so full of concern...so why did she really want to punch him out? "Are you okay? You've been acting weird practically all day." Arg! Kim turned quickly, and hardened. "Look, Ron, touched as I am with your sudden concern this isn't the best place to discuss my social life, okay?" Rufus popped momentarily out of Ron's pocket and gave her a look of mild surprise as she mentally slapped herself. Why am I doing this? Kim wondered miserably, biting her lower lip and trying hard to avoid her best friend's eye. Oh, and don't think she didn't know Ron was without a doubt thinking the same thing. She shouldn't be taking it out on him, he hadn't done anything... But yes he had. But that shouldn't be bugging her. Ron stared at the back of his "partner"'s (partner belonging in quotation marks because, as far as Ron was concerned, she did all the work) bright red head, not quite sure whether to say something or not. Why was she doing this? What had he done now? There wasn't much of a doubt in his mind that he had really done something wrong, but there was never anyway to tell just what qualified as "something wrong" with Kimmie. Kim. KP. He shouldn't of snickered. But seeing Kim Possible look as if she was going to throw up on one of her famous missions did have a kind of ironic humor to it. Ron Stoppable sighed. Welcome to my life as the dumb blond. Beep-beep-beep-beep. The Kimmunicater bleeped out it's familiar theme to the duo. Kim grabbed it from her pocket and welcomed the 10-year-old genius's face, botched slightly by computer static. "Whaddup, Wade?" "Hey Kim! Made a move yet?" "Not yet," she replied, smirking slightly. "Been waiting for you." "Right. Check in your backpack." "Oooo!" exclaimed Ron, trying to get a closer look as Kim whipped the black pack from her back. "More toys?" Wade's face contorted into a sly smile. "Hey there, Romeo." Kim's stomach contracted. God, those boys gossip more than the girls do. Ron, meanwhile, blushed behind his freckles. "Yo-ha, bro-ha," he murmured, with much lack of luster. "What'd she say?" Ron opened his mouth to answer, but Kim was there first. "Wade, what does this do?" Once again, Wade the Genius had managed to convert a cosmetics accessory into a possible weapon. This time: dental floss. "Floss?" said Kim, very flatly. "Dental floss? You're not serious. Even I can guess what that's used for." "Cleaning teeth?" Kim and Wade both looked at Ron, with the blankest expressions they could muster. "Foiling evil toothbrushes?" he tried again, grinning sheepishly. "Ron," replied Kim incredulously, "Tell me, can you even imagine one evil plot that revolves around a toothbrush?!" Ron shrugged. "Anything's possible." Kim rolled her eyes, and Wade smiled in an "I-know-something-you-don't- know" sort of way before turning back to the leader in black. "You got all that?" "Yep," said Kim. "And the floss is used for what I figure, right? Not," she remarked, shooting a dark look at Ron. "For cleaning teeth." "I guess it always could be a side effect," replied Wade. "But as for the "tie-your-capture's-up-with" theory...well, yes and no." "Could you explain?" "Yes." "Please and thank you!" "If you'll see there's a part of the body on the floss-holder that pushes in..." "Right where the label is?" "Yeah, that's it!" said Wade earnestly. "If you press it, it'll send out a line connected to an electrical current. You (heh, heh) can take it from there..." "Hey...." interrupted Ron in an accusing way. "That's just like that thing that JG guy had! You're ripping off of someone else's ideas!!" "It's GJ, okay?" snapped Kim. "Global. Justice. GJ!" "Jeesh, Kim, you really need to take a chill pill." Oh, ho, ho, he'd done it now. "Oh, so I need to take a (quote) "chill pill" now, do I?" Ron blinked once or twice before jumping head first into the fire. "Yes, actually, I think you do." "Shut up, Ron. You don't even know what you're talking about. And by the way, only you would ever refer to getting a grip as "chill pills" and get on Wade's back about being original in weapon choice!" "So what?! Why do you always have to make being unique up to be a bad thing?!" "Unique?! Ron, you're not unique! You're friggin' psychotic!!!" "ENOUGH!!!" Both Kim and Ron shut up and turned to face Wade (but not before Kim shot a dark look at her cohort, which he returned with one of "what did I do?"). Wade glared at them, more than slightly irked. "Kim! Take a chill pill. Ron! Lay off..." Kim shot Ron a look of triumph. "...and let Kim take her chill pill." "ARG! What is UP with you boys and CHILL PILLS!?" "Don't make me play the peacemaker between you two! As always," he added wearily. "Yes, sir," KP and Ron murmured guiltily. God, I'm being disciplined by Wade. Maybe this Tara thing is making me psycho...BUT WHY THE FUDGE SHOULD IT?! Great. What the heck did I do?? I just generally want to know!... "Good," replied Wade coolly. "Now be on your best behavior, all right?" "Alright." "No fighting, no nagging, and Kim, I know the temptation is nauseating but DON'T fire the electri-floss at Ron. Okay?" "Fine." "She'd better not..." "Ron!" "Sorry!" "Okay then," replied Wade, warily. "Good luck, I guess, on your next mission." And the screen was black. Wade turned in his chair, rubbed his temples and muttered to himself in a foreboding voice "Kids......" Kim switched off the Kimmunicator and stowed it in her pocket before turning (wearing the evil eye, mind you) to Ron and saying self- righteously. "Don't talk. Don't laugh. Don't try to charm me. And don't breath. I actually want to hear what they're planning." Which left Ron's lower jaw slack and him mouthing like a guppy. "....If you would JUST get OVER yourself and maybe admit that I know a teensy weensy bit more about being evil then you do..." "Hey, I'M the brains of the operation, I created this stuff, not you! And it's brilliant stuff too, admit it! ADMIT IT!!!..." Kim's eyes widened and she sent a "What the..." look over at Ron without thinking. He hardly had time to return it when she whipped around again. "Oh, PUH-LESE, you don't even know how to work most of it! Besides, it's always YOUR fault that that cheerleader on steroids manages to always go medieval on our-" "IT IS NOT! YOU'RE always the one fighting her--" "And YOU'RE always the one who's just sitting there! And you can't even do THAT correctly!! Face it, buck-o, that idiotic monkey of a goofy sidekick Possible always takes with her for God know's what reason..." Kim edged around the corner of the crate slightly to get a view of what was going on. She couldn't believe it. Shego and Drakken were standing miles apart, red in the face, screaming bloody murder at each other. "Yeah, ya know what? HE'S GETTING SMARTER THAN YOU ARE!!!!" "Kim?" came a voice to her left. "Yeah?" "What's the plan?" Kim turned back to her partner, still trying to fathom the idea of Sheego and Drakken in a row. "Well," she said, staring at the floor. "At first it was to wait and see what they were up to, seeing as Drakken always gives it away in less then thirty seconds. Then we'd work from there but..." She looked over in the direction of the screams, looked back at Ron and nodded her head to them. "I wasn't exactly expecting this to happen." "Yeah..." replied Ron, trailing off and looking in wonder at the floor. "It's kind of like us, isn't it?" "I guess," KP admitted, feeling slightly uncomfortable and squirmy. "But I'm not murderous. Well...not yet." "Kimmie, why are you mad at me?" Okay, now she was definitely uncomfortable and squirmy. "Let me see Rufus a sec." Ron stared at the side of her face for a few seconds before waking up the naked mole rat in his pocket. "C'mon, Rufus, up and at 'em." Rufus emerged from the depths of black cotton, yawned dramatically and turned sleepily to Kim. "Okay, Rufus," she began, crouching down so that her green-eyed face was level with his. "I got a job for you. You want a job?" Rufus made a face that clearly suggested he wouldn't prefer it. Kim sighed. "Would you want a job if I bought you your very own bean burrito when me and Ron go to Bueno Nacho tomorrow?" Rufus's face lit up and he exclaimed joyously, "Cheese!" "Great," sighed Kim in relief. "Your job is to climb up to the top of the crates and let me know when Drakken or Sheego are spilling any useful information. That, or when they've left. Okay?" Rufus saluted and scrambled up the crates to a position on the top. Kim sighed. "Wonderful." "What? Now we can talk?" "No, now I can sleep." "What?! KP!" "Hey!" she retorted, assuming a kind of half-lying half-sitting slump. "Somebody here was foiling evil in Cambodia last night." "And somebody else here was with her!" "Not foiling anything-" "But there none the less!" He was off. "I give up a lot of my free time going with you on these little missions. Not that I have to, by the way." "Then why do you?" Kim snapped. "I don't need you there anyway." "Yeah, but you want me there." After no immediate response from Kim, Ron pressed even more. "Admit it, KP. You know you do." Kim said nothing but pretended to sleep. Yes, she did. Of course she did! How could she not? Pest and pain that he was, Ron was still the most likeable guy in like the universe (at least in Kim's eyes) and he did manage to constantly make things about five times more interesting, more fun. And he did have his 20 to 30 second flashes of competence, which were usually pretty admirable. But she would never, ever admit that to Ron Stoppable. Ron slumped down and put his head on his shoulder in a melancholy way. No reply from Kim Possible could never really be taken as an affirmative "yes" or an affirmative "no". If he'd learned anything in those ten years of playing best friend, it was that the obvious implication was usually the total opposite of what Kim really meant. He was terrified. The honest to God truth of the situation was that if Kim really didn't want him on the missions with her, and if she really didn't need him there...then what was he there for? Amusement? Humor? Or was she humoring him by letting him come along and play side-kick? That really scared him. But he would never, ever admit that to Kim Possible. If you thought super villain partners are bad when they're working together, you should see them fighting. By that point in time Sheego couldn't even remember how the heck the thing had started. Was it her, or him? Most likely him, he was always screwing things up, always. And wasn't that what the fight was about? Damn right it was. Oh well, whoever had started it, mad scientist or henchmiss, not nobody not no how could get either of them to pull out then, no matter how much it hurt. They had their pride to think of after all, and a bruised pride was to both of them worse than anything Possible could cook up. "You're just a stupid henchman in the first place!" yelled back Dr. Drakken hoarsely. "You can't tell me what to do! I'm the evil genius!" "Some genius," snorted Sheego. "I'll bet you're not even a real doctor. I'll bet you just tacked the doctor onto your name because you think it makes it sound 'cooler'." "Well it does sound cooler," argued back Drakken firmly. "Admit it, IT DOES." "Who the heck cares?! Nobody, that's who! I hadn't lost a single fight until I started working for you." "Oh, yeah?" "Yeah," she went on fiercely. "If it wasn't for you, I could take that girly-girl Possible and her stupid sidekick and have them both off in one go." "Oh, yeah?" "Yeah. I don't even need you." "Oh, yeah? Well, maybe I don't even need you either!" "Well, fine then!" "Yes! Fine!" "We have an agreement then!" "Completely!" "Fine then, see ya later!" "Fine!" Drakken watched scowling as Sheego stormed out of the lair in a huff. She'll be back, he thought to himself. She won't last one day without me. "Oh, and by the way, here's a little present for ya!" Sheego turned around, fired two laser beams from her hands onto the controls of a huge computer in the middle of the room, watched it erupt in flames, turned around on her heel, flipped her hair and left to the backdrop of Drakken yelling hoarsely "YOU DO REALIZE YOU'RE GOING TO HAVE TO PAY FOR THAT!!" and the computer's words of "This secret lair will self destruct in-" He'll be back, thought Sheego confidently, swiping one of Drakken's black and blue jets without really thinking about it. He won't last one day without me. Rufus's whiskers twitched once or twice as he watched Drakken grab a container of something off a maniacal-looking table (grumbling about the about-to-explode hideout), grab a button-ish type thing, click the button, open a swooshy door in the corner of the room and go out of it. Click. Swoosh. Slam. Lock. Rufus blinked, looked down at the sleeping pair below him, back at the exploding lair, and replied the one English word he knew besides cheese: "Uh-oh." *~* *PYE'S SCHPEAL* review! please review! i throw myself upon your readerly mercy! i send you all virtual fruitcakes! please please PLEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEESE review!! ps. by the way, i'm a ron stoppable fan so (heh heh) if this fic seems sort of piteous towards him (heh heh) or partial to his case (heh heh) that's why. *best friend who's back...again* Why do you even like that character? He's a moron! *indignant me* Tsk! He may be a moron but he's still a bomb-diggidy dansah!! *her* ARGG!!!!!!!!!!! *once again leaves room in huff* 


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